Bring It Back

In response to a tough question, I got down on my knees and kissed the Earth, because wisdom sang to me once and her lyrics were simple:

Bring it back,
Bring it back,
Bring it back…

And I try, but without resolution
Subjective, I walk pathways
Of my own delusions,
Masochistic, I walk backwards
In search of a solution,
Fruitless.

Always has been, is, and always will be futile.
Ironic is my cry at the rain,
‘Cause it induces teardrops;
the sun shines, my fear stops.

True ecology,
I’ve become my environment and it has become me.
I’m writing freeform on a sidewalk with a broken leaf,
Searching behind bathroom mirrors for traces of vanity,
Behind gentrified walls for humanity,
And though my skull can’t expose it,
What’s enclosed in my ribcage already knows it.

Though my skull can’t expose it,
What’s enclosed in my ribcage already knows it.

And it knows it well,
‘Cause I’ve been kickin’ up dust and slingshotting pellets of lust for too long,
Meanwhile there’s laughter resonating between my lungs,

But it’s lost.

I spend too much of my time writing poems about finding it or, thinking about writing poems about finding it or, doing nothing at all, it’s lost. And I’ve only been around for nineteen years, but I have slept alone in the desert and stood on top of mountains during electrical storms.
And that doesn’t mean much, I know that doesn’t mean much, but it means I’ve been taught. And for my age I feel like I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned that the one person who will always be there for you, no matter what, forever, can only be found on the other side of the mirror. I’ve learned that the most beautiful things and people in this world only mark themselves as such upon their exits from your life. I’ve learned that you can be a student, a teacher, God, and a completely failure all at the same time.
And I’m not trying to be God for you, I’m just trying to be real for,

For once.

I’m trying to expose what’s in my ribcage
And show you my lungs.
I’m trying to bring it back,
And to never forget
That when I asked God what life is like, she responded:

Life is a fixed gear, no coastin’ through it,
She said,
Don’t avoid your fear, ride into it.
Don’t turn away from your wounds,
For they are Essence’s wombs,
And birth can be given
Only once we have risen
Through, and not around,
All our ego’s hidden prisons.

So listen,
When the going gets rough
And the question is tough,
PLEASE
Get down on your knees and kiss the Earth,
Because wisdom’s song

Is beyond worth.