How To Effectively Transform Your Past Into A Path To Essence

1. If your mother is the sentimental type, call home and ask for the boxes in her basement of the homework and birthday cards from your elementary school years. Though more recent notes and pieces of paper will work, the effect will be greater if you can find documents from your earliest years.

2. If you don’t have a blender, buy one. Put 15 pages of your materials into the blender, one page at a time, until you have dust. Mix equal parts Elmer’s Glue and water, stick it in the blender and press the button again. Let the mixture sit and thicken until it becomes a malleable paste.

3. Sculpt the paste into a knife. It is okay if you cannot get it to stay sharp until it dries. When it dries, use a file to sharpen the tip and edges of the blade.

4. Prepare a room in your house. Do this by removing all of its furniture and decorations. Paint the walls a deep red. Buy the largest mirror you can find and fasten it to your ceiling.

5. Lie in the middle of the floor of this room, knife at your side. Stare up at the ceiling mirror and observe your body in its entirety. Some experience in meditation will help this process a great deal.

6. Follow your breath deeply. Listen to it until your skin begins to vibrate and your vision blurs. Grab the knife from your side. With both hands on its handle, point it to the dimple in your solar plexus.

7. Say in a loud, clear voice: “THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.” Take a deep belly breath, and lightly puncture your skin with the knife.

If you have accurately completed the above steps, the skin on your chest will open up and blossom, like a fleshy orchid. It will spread vines and cover the entire red room green. Watch the sparks fly and enjoy the essence you have found.